Anxiety. Worry. Stress. Nervous. Restless. Apprehension.
These words, just saying them put me on edge. They impact so many people. This feeling, it’s consuming. For those that don’t suffer from anxiety, I know it is easy to sit back and tell those of us that do, that everything is going to be okay, to trust in God and His plan. Trust me, I trust Him and His beautiful plan for my life, but, it most certainly does not make every day a piece of cake. I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t worry or get anxious. I would be a liar if I said it didn’t affect me as strongly as it does sometimes. Here is something silly though… I have found beauty in combating my anxiety. You may wonder what the heck I am talking about. Well, here it is. Within my anxious heart, I have struggled. I have cried. I have fought with myself, my husband and God. Lord knows, I have been angry because I have walked through a valley so scary that all I could do was cry out to God.
When I got sick, our life was like poo hitting the fan. I had to step away from work. I saw every specialist under the sun and then some. I cried because we rely on my income and I wasn’t capable of bringing anything to the table financially. I cried because I was so worried that my body was failing me and in all capacities I was unable to help provide and take care of my family. But God. On January 7th of this year, I was diving into His word and there it was, Yahweh-Yireh (in Genesis 22:14), which means “The Lord will provide.” You know when God just puts something right in your face? This was it for me and I have been living my life with this in my mind ever since. His promise to us. He shows us through His teachings that He will provide and that all we need to do is trust in Him and seek Him. Am I perfect in this aspect? No. Do I struggle with letting my thoughts run wild sometimes? Yes. That’s because I am human and I need Him to sustain me. The beauty you ask? The beauty is that I have realized that I am human. That it is okay to get anxious and that my feelings are valid. YOUR feelings are valid. The most beautiful thing…We serve a God that provides, that loves us and that provides our hearts peace. A God that shows up in mighty ways through the most unexpected outlets.
To the anxious heart, it’s okay to be anxious. It’s okay to be worried and nervous about that thing thats going on in your life. You are human. If this life didn’t have worry, then sometimes, we wouldn’t draw near to God. When I think of my worry, I now think of it as God drawing me close to him. That is beautiful my friends.
Create The Happy. – KB
Photography Credit: Camralynz Photography